Past love – why do we pine?
A question I’ve asked myself increasingly lately is, why do we pine for a past love, when there was every reason for that union to end? Why do our minds cast back to the happiest times in those moments of utter sadness and isolated loneliness. A girlfriend once told me that when we’re down or upset, our minds automatically cast back to the last time we were truly happy, and we’re made to forget the bad connotations that also came along with that partner. We’re fooled into thinking we miss that person and that relationship, when it’s not the case at all. It’s our loneliness capturing any hint of happiness we’ve ever experienced and bringing it home, like a temporary consolation prize for the heart.
The reality is that those relationships ended for a reason. Sometimes, on a cold night, when your loneliness does catch up with you – you can’t help but miss the nights you shared with your past love before. You then instantly remember those soft cuddles and the reassurance of being wrapped around by someone who loves you.
You shouldn’t forgo those feelings, they’re important – and nothing should be taken away from the value of that past love and the whole relationship – but (and there’s always a but), it’s not to say that you should be under the delusion that you actually miss that past union. You don’t. You’re just having a bad night, and things will seem better in the morning – i promise.
Are you guilty of pining over a past love? What do you think you miss most?