See that ex of his? Yep, she wants to stab you.

Holy Toleeto Batman! If I was planning on nicking off with Russell Brandt anytime soon, i’d change my name, get a face transplant and sleep with both new eyes open. Because Katy Perry looks the type to mame and torture you – and not swiftly. Basically, the chick looks like she’d stab you if you glanced too long at her man (this is also loosely based on the fact that she said something to that effect on the Kyle and Jackie-O show recently.)

Here’s a scary stat for you (I’d chuck in a graph too, but it’s not really necessary – i just love that stuff), most guys (let’s say, 65% for fun) have a Katy Perry-esque ex that’ll be hot on your tail the second you decide this guy might actually be worth a second date. Yep. It’s retarded. You don’t know know her, heck, you don’t even really know him, you just know that when you’re out with your new interest, all you can feel are a pair of eyes burning the back of your head like laser beams – and shit would that hurt!

My question is, why should we feel intimidated? If said psycho, girl is an ex, then that relationship has obviously terminated for one reason or another. You can’t be blamed for meeting him at the right time. The right time being when he’s single and not attached at the hip to a crazy girl who’d first bite your arm off before letting you converse in polite bar natter with her man.

You have to understand that there will never be a right time for a girl like you to meet the ex boyfriend of one of those girls. She never wants him to meet anyone else. They’re the types that just can’t let go. They hang around, they rape his facebook page, they imagine scenarios and act like they’re close when you’re out and about to confuse you (the new interest). They’re pretty much bonkers, and the guy shouldn’t stand for it – or allow you to be subjected to it.

So what do you do when an ex flares up like a bad case of hives? Extinguish the burn. The worst thing you can do is hand her some hot ammunition, because then she may really make your life hell. My advice? Enjoy your time with the boy, remember that if he wanted to be with her, you know he definitely could be – but the fact is, he’s with you and he’s silently thanking the lord that he’s finally hanging out with a gorgeous, together girl that’s the furthest thing from his head case of an ex that ever could be.






Have you been the victim of a nutcase ex girlfriend?

Do you think any guy is worth the fight when a scorned women is thrown in the mix?

You didn’t notice this is loosely based on my life did you? Shit.