Are you dating a self-startler?

You probably have before (we all have at some stage.) Let me describe a little scenario for you…

You’ve just begun a new ‘relationship’ with a guy. Things are fantastic. He basically ticks every box. There are adequate messages throughout the day, the flirt is there, the sex is ah-maze-ing, you’ve got the lovely smelling hair whip, the silky legs and the coy smile down pat – he pretty much can’t believe his luck. The ‘relationship’ has sort of gone from zero to 100 in not much time at all, but it feels right. To take it slower would be stunting things in your opinion – I mean, why stop the train when it’s still on a full tank, right?

Wrong. Well, kind of wrong.

Let me finish this scenario for you. While you’re thinking about how great the sex is, how nice the flirt is and how it’s all going so great. He’s suddenly thinking about how if it keeps going full steam ahead, how many women he won’t get to sleep with, and how much time with the boys he may lose. This is enough to freak any red-blooded man the EFF out. Seriously girls, shame on you for having faith in the opposite sex to stay cool – you silly little so and so’s. (Please note the utter piss-take in that last sentence.)

This very situation happened to an erm… girlfriend of mine recently. It was three weeks of utter ‘new relationship bliss’, when BOOM out of nowhere, he pulls the ‘just friends’ card out on her. Ummmm, WHAT? (Note: totally understand how Jason Reeves feels in his song ‘Those two words are like bullets through my chest, just friends.” Uhh.) My girlfriend was dating a self-startler – and let me tell you, they’re not exactly a rare breed.

These guys jump and somersault head first into a relationship with a hot girl, do everything right, keep up the flirt, open doors, comment on her pretty smelling hair – and reap the rewards (mostly boudoir-related). Then, they scare the shit out of themselves so quickly – they end it all without so much as a second thought as to why – and what they may be throwing away.

Hmm perhaps I’m hitting a little hard and fast here, perhaps we should give him a break while we go over the facts, yeah?

– Yes, the ‘relationship’ may have jumped from zero to 100 in just two weeks, but I’m sure she wasn’t the only one responsible for that – it takes two to tango yaknow?

– Yes, the boys may not have liked him being so close to someone, especially a girl – as we all know that takes away from valuable guy time. But, seriously… how old are we again??

– Perhaps he really doesn’t want a girlfriend, as he may have just come out of a relationship – but did you ever say you wanted one either? Maybe all you were after was a bit of fun too, and communication is the key to working that out! So stop texting and have a chat! We follow your lead fellas, so if you act like you want in, then more often that not, we’ll hit you back with the same. So make sure you’re clear from the start, and ensure your actions mirror what you say you want.

For fun, here are some celebrity self-startlers who are guilty of freaking themselves out with little or no help from a female:

George Clooney – the eternal bachelor, who is so disconnected from commitment he won’t even keep a coffee loyalty card.

Russel Brandt – notorious sex fiend, I think sharing a milkshake with a girl pre-Katy Perry would have been enough to shake him up royally.






Have you dated a self-startler?

Did you fall hard?

I bet that mofo is still single thinking he’s the bomb diggity (when he’s really not), am I right?