The new contraception – The Chastity Bush
So you’re probably wondering why the eldest Hilton heiress is headlining this blog, sprawled on yet another bed, come hither eyes intact, looking like she’s ready for a good seeing to. No, it’s not a still shot for A Night in Paris – part two, it’s just some saucy picture i stumbled across, but i have no doubt that that pervy Rick Solomons character is behind this one too! Dirty bastard. (Let’s hope Papa Hilton threw away the key to that lock around her lady parts too!)
No, but seriously – a discussion with a girlfriend of mine has led me to this not-so-new trend being devoured by women the world over. It seems we just don’t trust ourselves to keep it in our pants these days. Yep… we have become the men. The horny promiscuous beasts that struggle to keep it in their pants so much, they pretty much undo their flies to make room for lift off as soon as they clap eyes on anything sporting more than an A-cup.
So, in a solid attempt to ensure that we don’t go on that first date, drink too much, consequently cloud our judgement and then jump into bed with possible-dream-husband-dude, we protect ourselves with what’s been cleverly labelled as ‘The Chasity Bush.” The CB is literally what you think it is. It is the overgrowth ‘down there’ that we’re so embarrassed about, it prevents us from hopping into the romper room and doing the horizontal jig with a fella we’re either not ready to go there with, or a fella we should never be ready to go there with. And from what I’ve heard, the CB is proving to be a very popular, rising form of birth control. Go figure?
Not being groomed down there is a big hinderance for some woman. Who can’t totally relax unless they know they’re in good nick down south. So the Chastity Bush actually assists in keeping our, erm… promiscuous sides at bay for a night. It may sound kind of extreme, but not grooming could be the very thing that turns that Mr. Right Now you’ve been spying, to Mr. Right in the long term, just because you didn’t jump straight into the smoosh room with him – and you know sometimes that keeping them waiting is the key, right? But you know, if this isn’t for you then each to their own, you naughty little so and so…
Have you ever deliberately not groomed because you knew you didn’t want to end up doing that?
Have you ever thought, ‘fuck it!’ and done it anyway?
You’re going to grow a Chastity Bush now aren’t you? You saucy little minx.