Holy F*%&balls, it’s Valentine’s Day

Die fat cherub, die

Okay, so if you’re reading this blog, you may just get a whiff of the subtle hostility included throughout. In fact, I bet if you’re standing within 1000m radius of someone who has ever once read this blog, you’d probably feel it too.

Before you get all, “Oh my goooood. She is such a raging dyke – on a we hate love rampage again Olivia?” I want to politely retort with a hells to the no peeps! Hear me out! a) there is nothing wrong with a good lesbian, I happen to be a huge Ellen/Portia fan and b) I’m not hostile for the reason you might think I am.

Nope, you see – sometimes I can be pretty in love with the idea of love. Whilst some couples annoy me to my wits end, that’s only some couples. Some couples are sweet as a two year old’s toosh. I have a couple like that in my life at the moment, they’ve just got together and they’re adorable, others in my life – not so much.

And whilst I’ve experienced a few fantastic present and fun-filled V-Day’s with a boyfriend before – that’s not what annoys me about the fact that I’m single on this loved-up day now. What I dislike most is the constant reminder of all the douchebags Cupid has pinned me to in the past. Some old, some more recent – all equally as loserish. What is it about this fat little cherub and trying to sabotage my love life? If i ever found him, I’d be sure to construct a scene much like the image above. Fat little F&^$er…

Happy Valentine’s Day.






What plans do you have tonight?

Do you have a date with someone new?

Do you want to punch Cupid in his stupid little fat face too?