Set-ups: the ugly truth

We all have one. That friend that swears they’ve got just the guy for you.

They see your single-dom as en exciting new addition to their hobby journal – today the little guys, tomorrow Millionaire Matchmaker!

They babble on about how if they weren’t stuck with their boring old other half they’d jump on this guy like white on rice. But my loves, they’re red blooded females aren’t they? And at the ripe old age of 22 – monogamy is about as common as Lady Gaga in a plain white shift dress – yadig? In short? That’s no excuse.

The fact is if this guy isĀ so great, she’d be with him. No friend really wants her friend to be with a guy who is that amazing. It’s not a jealousy thing. It’s just that we as humans believe we have the right to the things we truly desire. Most of us go for what we want. Some call it selfish, others call it survival – I think it’s nestled somewhere safely in the middle.

What many girls don’t understand when their ‘helpful’ friend sets them up with lovely-Johnny’s-best-mates-half-sisters-ex-boyfriends-best-man is that if he was that good, she wouldn’t be your comrade, she’d be your competition.

There is a reason that these girls aren’t chasing after these “amazing” men that we’re being fixed up with because ‘we’d totally hit it off’ – and let me tell you, it’s not because they’re still so sick to the stomach in love with the half man half boy they’ve got sitting at home, no – it’s because there’s a reason they don’t want him – and even if you don’t know what that reason is yet – they certainly do.

Let’s get something straight. Girlfriend’s love each other. I know I wouldn’t trade mine in for anything, not even immunity on the Surviver island, or the very last Krispy Kreme (okay maybe for that), but there is no way I’d pass up mister fan-fucking-tabulous to my best friend just to keep up with my ‘one good deed a day mantra.’ Yep, when it comes to finding the perfect male, it’s every female for themselves I’m afraid.

Not that there’s openly cat fights all that often – more often than not if there is a double up of heightened hysteria over an Adonis-like male, we agree on a bow-out by one or no-one takes him. Thems the rules. And there’s only ever been one serious girl vs girl head-to-head story in my posse to pen – and it is only ever talked about on very drunken occasions, mind. (We’re not very proud of that one.)

There are far too few amazing single guys out there to give up an amazingly incredible guy to your friend just to be nice. Yes, even if it is her birthday – and her fish just died – and she found the body. As much as you love your girls and vice versa – I’m telling you, if a girl is setting you up with a guy that seems too fantastic to believe, he probably is.


Have you ever gone head-to-head with a girl over a guy?

Do you get paired up by friends with guys who seem great but turn out kind of dudd-ish?

Gasp! You are the sneaky matchmaker – aren’t you!?