Cracking the pack mentality.
Meeting a guy isn’t always as easy as people think it might be. Old people especially – they’re such kill-joys man – and said in a very teenage fashion ‘they just don’t understand!’
Back in my nan’s day, she had offers flooding in left, right and centre for dates – from a myriad of eligible suitors. Most of which weren’t in her group of friends and most of whom weren’t already spoken for.
Two things are different in this day and age:
The first – people tend to be dipping their ink into the friend pot more and more these days. I guess it kind of makes sense if you think about it. We form a bit of a group, with girls and guys, and then plan weekends and trips with these people, become a pack, and grow to know and treasure these people undeniably closely. Often to the point that when someone new is brought into the fold, it can be a little disconcerning. It’s this closeness that ultimately leads to romance within the group, and in turn can ruin everything you’ve all built as a pack when you find it goes tits up.
(If you’re wondering what the second reason for the difference between my generation and my nan’s is – it’s that 50 per cent of the offers or advances I do receive are from guys that i know or will soon find out have girlfriends – uh, what whores guys can be eh?)
But back to the pack mentality. My query with all of this is, what if there isn’t anyone you’re into within that friendship group? Some may say that puts you in a pickle – as new people can be made to feel kind of unwelcome. Others would say you were fortunate – as there’s no chance of ruined friendships in your future. Each to their own I suppose.
So my question here is, if you haven’t grown up with a certain group of guys, and no doubt they have a group of tight girlfriends that they do know like the back of their hand, how do you break into the group like a light-footed criminal, and steal the heart of your love interest dude? Odds are you won’t be welcomed with open arms by his crew. And i’m guessing that if you do take the plunge and try to hang out with his posse a bit more in an attempt to become a permanent fixture in the fold, you often leave your own pack by the wayside.
You may think that all of this sounds horribly High School of me, but I’m serious, these groups are everywhere and they’re bastardly tight-knit. They either know each other from school or uni days, or are bound together by where they live. Think about it. Do you have a group of girls or guys that you think of as your own? I know I get a wee bit protective when one of my guy friends launches a new girl at us. We’re instantly curious about her yet instantly nonchalant on the surface to avoid encouraging the new meat – we’re just not sure about her yet.
She instantly has to earn her place, and all too often you see people sabotage this buy trying way too hard. You find yourself Facebook friends with the newbie not 24 hours after first intro, and by Thursday she’s messaging you to see if you’re wearing heels to Geoff’s going away ‘do?
Yep – cracking the pack mentality sure is a difficult task, especially when even the author of this ‘ere blog is living by it too.
Have you ever been the newbie to the pack?
Do you live by the pack mentality?
Does this sound like it was plucked straight from the Mean Girls script?
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