How-to: get him over his ex

I know this is going to sound terribly sexist of me, (but this is my blog and I can say whatever I want, so na na na na na!) But to me, a guy pining over his ex is just really unattractive. I understand that that’s a fairly ludicrous thing to say, but I just think that a guy, especially under the age of around 25 that can’t wake up and smell the roses when its over is just a wee bit naff you know? I mean, I bet Angelina never had to put up with this stuff when she swooped down and scored Brad. She probably just batted her encapsulating green eyes and he came running like a Labrador pup.

Guys are supposed to be the strong ones, the valiant ones. They’re supposed to be the ones that move on first, and while I know that’s a generalisation the size of Beth Ditto’s bee-hind, I just can’t shake that way of thinking. I mean, think about it, when you’re a girl who is looking to meet or have relations with a guy – the whole pining or hesitation because of something that’s dead and buried (not literally, widows need longer and much more careful handling than people who have just split up) is just a real drag man.

So when you can see a potential interest is being a little bit of a drag, it’s your job as the seeker to pull him out of the ex files and into fun-mode. Fun with YOU-mode.

But how do you do that? It’s actually pretty simple. You be the fun, cheeky, mysterious so and so we all know you are. You flirt endlessly but don’t give into his demands – of the sexy kind no doubt. You talk about the footy scores to show him that not only are you this fabulous female with a pert bum, mountains of likeable confidence and plenty of other options, you can also be a mate too. You be there when he needs you and be that fun person you want to be. But again, you have plenty of other options – you don’t believe he’s all that important in your life and then you don’t act that way either.

The worst thing you can do is smother him. Shower him with sympathetic love and offer to be his cuddle buddy in his devastating hour of need. Guys don’t need that – and even if they do, they don’t want you to know that and nor do you want to be that person. When I come across a case like this I pretend that his ex was a crazy ass psycho that made his life hell with more smothering than a serial killer in a bad 90s horror flick. It’s just a simple exercise to ensure that you have no chance of acting anything like a girlfriend (even though let’s face it, she was probably lovely – which is why he’s down in the dumps anyway.)

You may think it sounds a little unfair to be talking about how to nab a freshly single bloke, but the fact is that when people break up, it’s normally for good reason. And making them feel better, by taking their mind off of things and helping them to move on can’t possibly be a bad thing, can it? I choose no. We all deserve to be happy, we all deserve to move on from bad relationships and feel amazing about someone else again. And how will you ever know if that person is right in front of you if you’re busy worrying about someone, who let’s face it, probably isn’t worrying about you.






Have you been with a guy who is hung up on an ex?

How did you show him that there was light at the end of the bitter ex tunnel?

Do you think this is sounding all a bit homewrecker-ish? I swear I’m more Jen than Angelina!