Life’s not so Sim-ple

Don’t you wish sometimes we lived like Sims? We found a person from the opposite sex, met them and then their personality traits, likes and dislikes were laid out before us and we could choose then and there whether to walk away, or stay around to tell a flirty joke?

In an hour of monstrous boredom a few weeks ago, I was searching around for apps on my iPhone, anything to pull me out of this boredom spiral, and I happened to stumble across a Sims game – Sims Ambitions to be exact. I thought ‘why not?’ and proceeded to download.

When I started the game it was all fun, creating my Sim, naming her (Harper was the winner, clearly influenced by the Beckham’s new bundle – steered clear of a numerical middle name though, as i’m not that much of a twat!) and dressing her until she was somewhat of a reflection of myself.

Newly created, I set off into town to find myself a job and a boy. Both were pretty easily to stumble across and I found myself flipping burgers at the local diner and chatting flirtatiously to the first boy Sim I clapped eyes on. His name was Mark and he had a pretty high humour level – he was to be the one.

So with that, I pushed work and the annoying goals that kept popping up to the side and concentrated on bagging Mark. I told funny jokes, then flirted, then told flirty jokes until those little promising green plus signs were getting more and more frequent. Not to seem too eager, I dragged my Sim to work and then bored of burger flipping, swung by the Job Centre on the way home and scored a babysitting gig with more money and less hours. Yes please.

That night I scoured town to find the Mark Sim again, and immediately instructed my Sim to get on with all of the flirting hullaballoo. I loved the chase, flirting and telling jokes until the option for a ‘Hot Smooch’ came up. Click. After a few of those I was informed that Mark was now my boyfriend. yippee! So it’s that easy huh? A couple of kisses and I’m invited over to meet your mum. Brilliant.

The next day I headed into work ‘at any house that has a baby.’ Okay, so Lisa and Sam’s house apparently had a baby, plus it was close to mine, so I shimmied over there.

Amazingly Sam and Lisa were home all day, so I’m not really sure why they needed a babysitter, probably Government paid for, bludgers. Anyway, when Sam came up to ‘tell a joke’ I thought it might be fun to see if Sims can cheat. I began flirting with Sam, and telling jokes, and telling flirty jokes, and incredibly, the green plus signs were in abundance. Even with wife and child in the same house he was definitely loving it. I felt a little bad to Sim Mark, but I wanted to see how far I could take this. I tended to the baby and kept flirting with Sam until the option for a ‘Hot Smooch’ came up – I took it.

That night (Days and nights only go for a few minutes each, I haven’t spent a week on this game!) I went over to Sim Mark’s house that night and ‘Hot-smooched’ a few times until we were allowed to ‘Woo-hoo’, yes! Sim Mark and I became partners that night (we were informed by the game) – but would my Sim cheat with Sam again the next day?

Off to work the next day I was clear on my goal. My Sim and Sam had to ‘Woo Hoo’. I tended to the baby and then got my flirt on, with Sim Sam’s wife Sim Lisa strutting about the house. When the ‘Woo Hoo’ option presented itself I took it – it seems that adultery isn’t a sin in Sim land. Who would have thought? The only problem is this time Sim Lisa saw. And she came over to chat and there were a new minus signs displayed. (I think that meant I should stop kissing and Woo-hoo-ing her husband.)

I took my Sim home and decided it was over with Sam. That night I got home and started up again with Mark. The goal was a baby, and a baby was what I was going to get. I got home and ‘Woo-hoo-ed’ (just so you know, this isn’t Sim porn, all you see is an image of a bed with lumps under the covers) with Mark a few times before I was cut off with a very abrupt message from the game saying that I had ‘Woo-Hoo-ed’ my Sim to death! I couldn’t believe it. Though I concluded that if I was going to die, that would be the way I’d want to go.

Luckily i just pressed okay and I was alive again. I took it very slowly for the next few minutes, flirting inbetween ‘Woo-hoo’s’ until I was told we had a baby! I was thrilled, goal reached – yippee!

Though excited, I was shocked at how little I felt I needed Sim Mark after that. Much like in real life, once the baby came our ‘Woo-hoo’ life dwindled significantly. I barely ‘Hot-smooched’ him after that, let alone a ‘Woo-hoo.’ It kind of made me think that my own life might be somewhat mirrored off of this scenario. After you get everything you want, what else is there to aim for? I got bored with the game after that and stopped playing. I’d reached my goal in around half an hour and didn’t know what else to aim for.

Is this game a reflection of my own life? If so, how can I ensure I won’t lose interest in my own Sim Mark once we’re settled down with rugrats?

It definitely did make me think. I concluded that life definitely isn’t a game, and it’s not always that simple. We have goals and desires and bumps in the road, but just like a 9-5 office gig, a relationship is work. You may not get a payslip at the end of each month, but if you want it to work, then you need to ensure you’re giving it everything you’ve got.

– on the other hand, perhaps the game has just cemented the fact that long-term love just isn’t for me? Poor Sim Mark…






Have you had a big wake-up call in your love life?

Do you think those Sims characters are just round-the-clock shaggers?