Can a one-night stand stand a chance?
We girls should really follow our own advice.
We know that when we tumble into the shagpad with a fella we’ve had our eye on that not only are we doing ourselves a disservice in the relationship long-run, but also to females as a race. It’s like a betrayal to the sisterhood – but we do it anyway. Cue guilty face…
So why is it so bad you ask? Well my furry friends, it’s because boys can be (or rather, are) like puppies. They are taught how to act by experience. You can tell them something, but it’s not until you actually do something that they listen. You may say you’re not going to sleep with him on the first date, and if you don’t, you’ve overcome one of the biggest hurdles you will ever have to face in your relationship (or in the case of a one-night stand that doesn’t go any further – the next 12 hours.)
You have shown him that you’re serious. You mean what you say and if he wants to change your mind it’s going to take more than a flirty flutter of his lashes to shift your stance. He’s going to need to work a little to get what he wants. To woo you and sweep you off those perfectly pedicured feet. Instantly by holding your goodies hostage, you’ve whacked a higher price tag on them – and their value soars.
I know it’s weird to be talking about your lady parts in the same context you would beachside real estate, but the truth is and always will be that the more unattainable the product, the more valuable – and the more wanted it becomes. And that’s the bittersweet truth m’ladys.
So before you roll your eyes and banish this blog to the very depths of the Jane Eyre times, understand that I get it, girls have needs too. And often we need/want boys to fulfill those needs – and i’m not exactly saying that you shouldn’t just go for what you want. But this is the stickler – you can’t have it both ways. If you potentially want a long-term thing out of this lad, it pays to resist temptation and build up his desire. Not only will it entice him to get up off his ass and take action, it literally hands you the power. (Unless you just want a shag, in which case, go for it you little minx – but do mind the fact that you’re still doing the sister’s a wee disservice by handing the cat the cream.)
Since you’ve got the reigns, why don’t you insist the two of you go on a date? Boys usually shudder at the thought this – they roll their eyes and think “why would I have to do that when I can just meet a girl at a club, buy her a vodka something-or-other and get her home to mine like that?” (Insert arrogant click of the fingers.)
And don’t you see? It’s our fault they think like this. Because every time we go home with a boy, do the nasty and then wonder why he doesn’t call, we do females everywhere a major disservice. It’s just another boy that has the whole system verified for him. He doesn’t need to work for it. He can get a bit of somethin’ somethin’ just by flirting the pants off you, literally. And we wonder why they can act like such jerks?
I know this all sounds terribly 18th century of me, but I had my views challenged recently (surprise, surprise). A girlfriend of mine was indulging in a bit of a scandalous between-the-sheets soiree, and was a little devastated when said fun buddy hadn’t necked up and made further plans. “Have I ruined everything?” Probably, i thought. Until a rather new great girlfriend piped up. “Not necessarily, a lot of relationships start like this. My boyfriend (of 7 years) and I slept together the first night we met on New Years Eve – and now look at us!” This girlfriend of mine is set to shimmy down the aisle in January. Go figure.
So my saucy little minx’s, I guess the rule is there are no rules. There are guidelines (like the ones i’ve listed and can’t quite seem to listen to myself) and there are lessons. So take something from this blog and make your own decisions, but remember that the sisterhood may just kill you if you go around romping your socks off and ruining the few good boys that are left.
Do you think a one-night stand can stand a chance?
How do you turn a one-nighter into an every-nighter?
Do you think it’s okay to be a sexy little minxpot on the first date? (Or, more fittingly, first drink?)