Dating walls – are you hiding?
I don’t know if it’s just me. But a lot of people I know are really hung up on the whole ‘living it up and being single while we’re young’ thing.
Now, I must admit, I am (or kind of am) in fact one of them. I know – shameful right?
But before you start piping up and flogging the blog with insults, listen up – I’m not crazy, and I’m not alone. And even better still, I don’t even know how much I live by it anymore. (Phew – you happy?)
That’s right. I’ve begun to realise how we hide behind these ‘dating walls’ straight off the bat. Sometimes it’s an arrogance thing, other times it’s because we want to protect ourselves, in case the other party isn’t even slightly interested in anything past the next 5 minutes of full on pashing.) We often find ourselves thinking about how we’re going to break it to a person that we don’t want a relationship after the first kiss. Woah, slow it down son – odds are the person you’ve just locked lips with is trying to remember if your first name was Matt or Mike, so there’s no need to be getting all antsy about seeing his/her name pop up on your phone all day long in the days following.
What people don’t get pre-freakout, is that a lot of the time when amazing relationships form, neither party knew they were even looking for someone to love. They just kind of went with the flow and took things slowly, and are now madly, wildly in love with someone, without even having to put such a gift on their annual list to Santa. Imagine it – getting everything you never knew you wanted without even having to ask for it!
That’s what can happen. You can start a union with someone who can fast become the most important person in your life, your partner in crime, and you can have one seriously amazeballs relationship with someone who feels like a best friend – but not if you keep hiding behind those dating walls, insisting that you’re not interested, and that it’s ‘not a good time for a relationship’. I have several friends who slept with a guy because he was cute, and amused each other by going on a few dates, having a bit of fun, and are now such a huge part of each other’s lives it’s incredible. It really is a gift that can just happen to you. One day you have no-one you really feel the need to see, and the next you have someone who you can’t bear not to see.
This gift I speak of? It may come to those who didn’t even know they wanted, but it won’t come to those who aren’t willing to knock the wall down and be open to the possibility of a seriously amazing thing starting here. So get clued up boys and girls, because unless your potential lover is of Hulk-proporations, ‘aint nobody going to be able to break through your dating walls.
What are your best tips for breaking down these ‘dating walls?’
Why do you think we do this to ourselves?