Playing the waiting game
That Michael Buble – with his suave charm, voice full of gusto and 50s swing – girls melt like putty in his hands, like dogs when faced with a Shmacko. He’s brought the population of female ‘Hopefuls’ to their knees – and best of all, he actually kind of – well, gets it.
He knows that eventually, we’re all going to meet a mate that’s perfect, or just about. He knows that you can’t just make that kind of mate out of any old person – in the above tune, he’s actually singing about someone he hasn’t even met yet – but that he knows is out there. It’s kind of comforting to know that there is someone out there who is worth a song, right?
Take his own personal life for example. He was with Emily Blunt for a good chunk of his adult life, was head over Canadian heels for her, and then was consequently shattered when she up and left. He probably thought it was back to the drawing board and he’d never feel the same again. That was until he stumbled across his Argentinian girlfriend, Luisana Lopilato – and fell so hard that three weddings were in order. (Maaaaaan I cannot believe I’m using the Bubes as an example here folks.)
But then there’s the other side. We all have that friend. The one that’s been in a relationship for say, five years. They’re together, but they’re not together. As in they don’t laugh together, they kind of co-exist because that’s the way things are and that’s the way they’ve always been. There’s nothing new and exciting about them – even if they do seem to ‘work at it’, boring is pretty much an understatement – and they’re only in their 20s.
They’re together because they figure that’s all there is out there, and seeing as it’s worked fine up until now, and they’re not yet repulsed by each other – why ruin a good thing? They got together young, and it just seems easier to stay that way – passion isn’t a factor, neither is total, unrelenting happiness, apparently.
Then there’s that girl you know – she’s pushing 30, and she’s terrified that she’s never going to find the guy of her dreams, the father of her babies. She’s got squillions of horrible dating stories, she’s a bit of a hopeless romantic (maybe even too much so) and she just wants to jump into a relationship with the first half decent guy with an adequate head of hair and PROCREATE, PROCREATE, PROCREATE!
God – cue the shivers down my spine.
My peril, my pretties, is this. The second we’re taken off the shelf, means that we’re left unavailable to the other options that may present themselves in the future. That means the guy we’re meant to be with may swan on in when we’re all tied up with Mr. Wrong (and Mr. asshole for that matter) while Mr. Right wafts on by.
Now, don’t get me all wrong. I’m not saying girls should be poised and ready to pounce at all times in case their future baby daddy comes along. My point is that we meet what I like to call our ‘soulmates’ at different stages of our lives. Some as young as 16, some around the 30 mark (obviously at other ages too, but i’d be here listing forever, yadig?)
It’s kind of comforting to know that even though we may be swanning about in our mid 20s, a little devo when Sunday night hits that we’re not in the arms of another, that exactly what we’re looking for may be right around the corner, and if not, that’s cool too. It could happen at 3o, or 35 – but it will happen.
What I’d like to know is, should we be hanging back from a relationship until we’re really, super sure about a person? Or should we be diving in head first, potentially holding ourselves back from the one that’s exactly right for us. While I don’t want to say that jumping into something while we’re very young (and less likely to know what it is we need in a perfect partner) is more debilitating than it is helpful – I guess I kind of just did…
Do you think it’s important to experiment in relationships when you’re young?
How sure would you have to be about someone in order to jump into a relationship with them?
Are you bonkers over the Bubes?