Close, but no cigar…
You know what I’m on about right? When a guy is close to amazeballs, but there’s just something not quite right?
When you look around you, and every guy that has potential to be a major player in your personal romance novel just has something that isn’t quite right. A little like Owen Wilson here. He ticks many a boyfriend box – boy next door good looks, sparkling blue eyes, attractive sense of humour, the ability to make you laugh (hello, have you seen Wedding Crashers?)and a big package – pay package I mean – you dirty little so and sos.
But, even though physical attributes are becoming less and less important to me, all I can see when I look at OW is the massive bump in his nose.
Don’t get me wrong – It wouldn’t be a deal breaker, and I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of bed because of it, but it just seems that this sort of feeling is translating into real life at the moment, and is a factor when I look into most of the guys around me. Some guys seem amazing on paper; good job, great personality, good looks, make me laugh – and then I can always find something that takes them down a notch or two. Even when I’m not really looking for it. [direct excerpt from ‘Diary of a Commitment Phobe.]
Be it he’s too shy, his crazy streak puts you off, or his facebook banter is cringe-worthy. Yep, you give a girl a perfectly good guy and they can probably find a way to knock him down a few pegs – and I think a lot of the ladies have the same ability.
Are we too picky? Maybe. Do we have commitment issues because we’re scared about finding a guy and giving ourselves to him? Probably. Do we need to get over it and give a guy who seems pretty close to perfect a chance? Heck yes we do.
News flash. No-one is perfect. I bet you my first born child that you’d meet Channing or the Goz and find something you didn’t like as soon as you really got to know them. It’s normal. (Disclaimer: I had my fingers crossed behind my back when I said that, there’s no way you’d ever find anything wrong with those two guys – I just had to say it for effect. Don’t hover around me when I’m pregnant will you?)
It’s actually kind of good to see a fault in someone else. It keeps it real. No-one is meant to be perfect. It would mean we’d place people on unnecessary pedastools, and create inequality within a relationship. We’d spend all of our time trying to cater to Mr. Perfect, and that wouldn’t be any kind of relationship at all. Yep, a few faults are healthy, even required – the trick is being able to see past them and find what’s so amazeballs about this guy and focus on that.
Here’s a trick. If you’re not sure how into a guy you are, use the ‘hypothetical jealousy trick,’ (yes, that is its real name), you just picture the guy in question kissing a girl you know passionately in front of you, like you walked in on them at a club or something. If you…
a) feel your skin crawl and your tummy churn and feel your eyes turn a bright shade of green, my guess is you like this guy, even if you’ve tried to talk yourself out of it because, oh I don’t know… you don’t like the shoes he wears, or you don’t think your girlfriend would approve (note, she’d probably jump his bones too if she had the chance. If you like him, he’s gotta be a catch.)
b) don’t really see it happening, because you’re too busy scanning the crowd for your own piece of man meat to take a bite out of – then maybe his faults mean he’s just not the one for you, so don’t waste any more time on trying to make him the one. Move on and find another guy in which to question and tear apart in the search for deal-breaking faults.
Jokes – but you should totally cut him loose though, just sayin’.
Have you ended it with a guy because of a trivial little fault?
What’s your ultimate dealbreaker?
Have you learned to look past the faults and focus on the important bits of a boy?