Are you a faux feminist?


I’ve always thought of myself as quite the feminist.

I believe in equality among the sexes, I believe that anything a man can do, a woman can do (better – jokes.)

I strongly believe that a woman can’t solely depend on a man for survival.

or, at least I thought I did.

You see, as much as I am fully aware that the divorce rate in this country is now a whopping 50 per cent, and that no matter how in love a couple may seem at the time, that nothing lasts forever – I still can’t shake the thought that actually, even though I used to laugh in the face of financially dependant housewives, I really can see the appeal in staying home and looking after the bubs while hubby goes off to work  – even if it’s just for a little while.

I have to say, It goes against everything I believe in. Having to put your hand out to hubby for money is not my idea of an equal partnership. In fact it can be damaging in many ways. Not having a sense of equality in a partnership can mean that one party is viewed as lesser than the other, and the relationship can begin to reflect that view. You see, to me – both parties need to be bringing something valuable to the relationship, whether it be financially or otherwise – in order for it to stay successful.

I know that in the day and age, women need to ensure they are able to stand on their own two feet, financially at the very least. I know that we have to be savvy when it comes to looking after ourselves and our future, because even the strongest of unions can go tits up at any given point. I’m aware that it pays to be prepared.

But at the same time, signing a prenuptial agreement, or putting money aside that’s ‘just yours’, does seem to take a little romance out of the equation. I don’t want to say that it’s kind of like preempting a split – but I guess it’s almost as good as.

Not to say that you shouldn’t be smart, you most definitely should be. You don’t want to be left out to dry in case the unthinkable happens – but you have to admit that being able to solely depend on someone you love is an appealing thought.

I must admit, I feel like a fake and a phony. Maybe it’s because I’m now in a loving relationship that I can’t really see coming to an end, but a part of me is hoping that the union ‘sticks’ and neither of us need to worry about having to be truly independent again. That is, we’ll always have someone to lean on and a partner in crime when times get tough. It’s a comforting thought.

I guess when it comes to forward planning, you have to weigh up what would be worse; setting yourself up to be independent, just in case you happen to find yourself out in the cold – or realising that you have to pick yourself up and build up your life from scratch if the unthinkable does in fact happen?

NQC x

Do you believe there is a key to a successful partnership?

Do you have any desire to play the housewife role?

Do you think that equality plays a big role in a couple’s success?

Advertisements