Break-up bible: being the bad guy, sucks.
You know what sucks even more than being dumped?
Being the one that dumps someone.
It may sound a little trivial, seeing as being dumped is one of the most confidence-crushing experiences you can ever go through, but it’s true.
Because the person you have to dump isn’t just anyone, it’s someone who has invested their time, their love and their heart into you for an extended period of time. Their family has become your family and yours has become theirs. You have shared experiences that neither of you will ever be able to share with anyone else. You’ve created a history that can never be forgotten. You’ve become a safety net for each other, a protector, a soul mate.
Then you have to stand before this person and face up to the inevitable. All because your stupid feelings went and changed on you. You didn’t even want them to, you didn’t see it coming – and now you have to deliver the ultimate blow to the person who has relied and depended on you for all this time. The person that has trusted you not to hurt them, who you promised to always love, always look after and never disappoint.
Not because you want to do it, but because it would be unfair to both of you to stay in your relationship when you know that you can’t give yourself to that person 110%. You know you’ll never feel the passion that you once felt for them again – not because you don’t want to, but because those feelings and the ability to awaken that passion is a power that has been taken away from you, and locked behind a big brass door with a note saying that the key was chucked into the bottom of the Atlantic by that old woman in Titanic, along with that hella big diamond necklace.
When you say you love someone, you can’t know what will happen in the future. You don’t know that you’ll always feel the same way. It’s sickening to think about, but one day you may just find that you have fallen out of love with someone. And you didn’t even mean to. The worst part is that there is nothing you can do about it. Once it’s gone, nine times out of ten it’s gone for good.
Then, to make matters worse, you have to deliver that devastating blow to the one you used to love, and watch on as they fall to pieces in front of you, all because of you.
Don’t get me wrong, being dumped SUCKS. I’m not denying that – but honestly, I never knew the pain that breaking up with someone could cause until I saw it with my own eyes through a very close friend. It’s heart-breaking to watch, it really is.
Oh dear, love can be hard can’t it? Poor poppets.
Which would you prefer? To be the dumper, or the dumpee?
Have you ever had your feelings up and change on you overnight?
How did you handle the shift?